I have been savoring this moment and blog post for a couple of weeks. We started a new incentive in the house. It all began with a little tete a' tete with hubs. . .aka problem-solver- extraordinaire. I was fed up and whining to him while my kids were in AWANA and we were having a "date" over coffee and one slice of pie. (I ate the whole piece without offering him a bite-stress eating, right?.)
"The kids have been disrespectful, whiny and I am fed up." I wonder who they got that from? Never mind that. . ."what are we going to do about it??!!"
He carefully analyzed the situation as he sometimes does with my emotional outburst. He said, "Well, I think we have given them too many privileges that they do not know how to act. They wake up to TV each day, they do not help out around the house enough and they know if they ask long enough they will get their way. We just have to step back from some of those things that they think they deserve and give them some direction." Then the lightbulb was not only lit up above his head, it got brighter. "How about a "Good Job Jar?"
Hmmm. . .now you have my attention. He said, "what if we give them each a container and everytime they whine or are disrespectful in some way, let's tell them to take out money. When they do something without asking, are kind, helpful or even positive then lets give them three of whatever we determine is the right amount." Hmmm. . .I think it's going to work.
As soon as they got in the car from AWANA that night we started talking with them and then when we got home we layed it all out. This is how the Good Job Jar works.
- Give them a jar or let them design one.
- Have a jar set up for you that has extra pennies in it.
- Give them 10 pennies (which really equal dimes, but we did not have enough dimes to work with) to start with.
- Explain that if they have any kind of misbehavior you ask them to take a penny out. Don't do it for them. . .they need to feel the loss.
- If they have any exceptionally great behavior they get to put 3 pennies in.
- At the end of the week they can count their pennies and I will give them that amount in dimes or dollars if it equals that.
We have really seen an improvement in the last couple of weeks that we have been doing this. We rewarded them a lot on the front end so that they would get the idea. I would much rather spend my time encouraging behaviors, then have to harp on the all day about being more obedient. Obviously, we have only been doing this for a couple of weeks and I believe you have to change your system up when they have mastered one. But for now, this works for me immensely. Last week, I got to give them $3.00 each for their hard work, respectful attitudes and amazing manners. Ahhh. . .the satisfaction that we all have.
While our usual hostess with the mostest is out of the country, Melanie from Don't Try this at Home is generously hostessing this round of Works for Me Wednesday. Check out more grand ideas there.
Have a great day and Happy Shaping Up Your Kids Attitudes!