You may have heard of the seven year itch. Well, I have the eleven year itch. I know this is quite a confession on a blog that all the world can see. You know, the seven year itch is where you become quite discontent with everything to do with your spouse. You don't find him attractive anymore, you start daydreaming about other more hunky guys and all that they could do for you. You begin to think that you have made a mistake and the only thing that could remedy that is the big D. And I am not talking about a trip to Dallas.
This itch that I have is a tad bit different though. It is an itch to make this marriage stuff better than ever before. I search the web and the Word (two of the world's best resources :) ) each day trying to find answers to all of our tough questions. I listen to Christian podcasts on how to get on the same page in our finances and how to improve our love life. These are two of the most critical areas to be on the same team.
We are so far from perfect, but I refuse to paint a perfect Mona Lisa picture in my mind for us to live up to. While all the world and it's crazy statistics about pastor's and their weekend lives surround us, I will not allow Satan in this marriage only to destroy it. I am closing the gates of our home to the evil one and even if I stray for awhile (which is undoubtedly going to happen in this imperfect body) I will not give into the world's answers . . . to give up and pay the money to the courts to get out.
I will seek each day to be a wife that is pleasing in Christ's sight. I will lean on the only one who can completely make me content. He is the only one who can fill the areas in my heart where my husband has not learned to touch. Christ will be my center. May angels guard the doors of our home so that we can never leave angry at one another with intent to never come back. May Christ tenderize our hearts with meat mallets if He has to to get our attention when we are losing sight of His plan for our marriage and family.
John Mark Rutter, I pledge my love to you all over again. You are precious to me. When your heart is broken over something, my heart aches to remedy it. Believe me, I know my shortcomings. God will not let me stop learning and growing. Every time I am wanchy to you, He prods me with His disapproval. I know that I am not easy to love. In the earliest years of our marriage, when most were on the mountaintop, we were in the trenches. We basically had to grow up together. We had to figure out how to not blow a gasket when the other was a complete moron. We figured out how to build a budget, a house and a family together. I guess you can say we are still figuring those out, especially building the house! :) In the last year, we have spent time together on the rooftop shingling the house, in Morrilton, AR at a retreat center and in church praising our Lord together.
I have seen you grow in the Lord and your faith more this year than any other year of our marriage. I am in awe of the way you pull those sermons together. I have learned so much from you not only as my husband, but as a my pastor. You have shepherded my heart to a good place. I long for you not only to touch me as my husband, but to touch me with a Word from the Lord our God. Thank you for all of the times you have prayed for me over the phone, in person and even the times that you have rained on my parade. You keep me sensible! I love you. You mean the world to me. You are God's gift to me. You have treated me like a princess . . . especially in those early days when I still did not feel like a princess or child of the King. You are my Prince until the King's return. I love you, John Mark, and I have loved cruisin' with you.
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